New

 

How do you start writing again after days of silence?

How do you dare to take the step necessary to once more open your heart and mind and place the words on the screen where they will be seen?

I discourage myself; when a new idea for writing turns up in my mind I silence it. With words like “someone has already said that, and probably in a much better way too.”

“Well, you are right” my discouraged me says. “There is no use trying.” So I go back doing some brain and soul lulling activity that the true I don’t really want to do.

Last night my true I took my hand and led me to my easel with an empty canvas on. It opened the doors to the color bottles and showed the biggest one, the one with bright yellow in.

I didn’t dare to loose time searching for utensils. I just opened the bottle, turned it upside down and squeezed the paint straight on to my fingers. Thick, creamy layers of beautiful, yellow paint. My soul looked at the paint and breathed with a big sigh of relief.

Unsecure, trembling strokes on the canvas with my fingers. The sensation on my fingertips, the texture, the smell of paint and how beautiful it looked! I was not at all unsecure. This was what I wanted to do. “Where have you been all this time??” I asked me. I wish I knew.

Can I wite about this? Or will it be another unwritten post, not interesting enough to share?

No, this one will be posted. To show the next step on my journey. To encourage others, who like me struggle to come back to life.

Together for a new life

With Love

Lotta

 

6 thoughts on “New

  1. Welcome back, to writing and to colours! Hope you have so much more of those things in your life that your inner critical voice gets silent – hugs/Margareta

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  2. “Struggle to come back to life,” yes, I struggle with that daily. And your words show me the way to come back to life…”squeeze(d) the paint straight on to your (my) fingers,” — it is true that is all it takes to begin. Thanks for the inspiration.

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